criminals are NOT smart

While making lunch this morning for austin and myself(I am in town once again at the library) I was listening to KONY radio station, which is a great country radio station, and they were talking about the Gorge being closed for the present time due to a robbery. I am not sure where the gorge is but the guy had apparently robbed a bank(I think) of $28,000(ish) and then jumped into his white van(they got plate numbers and everything) and then proceeded to drive to an apartment complex. When the cops approached his car he then took out his hand gun and shot himself in the head.

Okay. I am sad at how the story ended but did this guy wake up that morning and have a death wish?! Why go through all the trouble to steal money which I am guessing was suppose to make him happy, but then doesn't get away and in the end loses the cash and his life! Why? What came to mind when I heard this was, " Why didn't he have a better after the robbery plan?" I mean he probably planned his little robbery with some thought and strategy but really?! jump in a van and "hope" the cops don't follow?! Really?? Wow. F- for this guy and post planning methods.

After thinking about it for the ride to town, I wonder why he wasn't a bit more creative. If I would have been on the robbing team(which I would never be) I would be like their A+ person. The go to planning person. Eventually I would be hired by the government to do top priority/top secret stuff and then retire at 42 and then when I turned 52 I would write a book about my life which would be a best seller for 20 weeks straight, and then a 15 Grammy winning film. It would be titled something like, "From robber to FBI: The amazing Victoria's rise to awesomeness and wealth" (still working on the title). And eventually I would go down in history as the greatest women ever. Your children's children's children would know my name, long after I was gone.

Here is how the post robbing plan would have gone:
3 days prior to robbing the bank I would have a friend drop a car off at a campground parking lot. I would pay(using cash) for a site for 2 weeks and use a false name(of course) and that car plate numbers. I would then hike up to a secluded place at least one mile off the path and have a change of clothes in a bag that I purchased at the DI. With these I would then cover myself in coyote urine. From there about 10 further up the mountain at a predetermined location I would have 1 weeks worth of provisions, along with ample hunting gear and first aid equipment just in case.

Day of robbery: Rob bank. Jump in tricked out junk car(van's are too obvious and can't be maneuvered well) with false plates and drive till I lose the police. Once I know that the police are at least 5 minutes behind me I would go to the camp ground. I would then set cruise control to 45 and jump from the vehicle taking with me the stolen cash. (The car would be set to veer to the left and crash 15 miles down the road at a sharp right turn.) Me with my cash would then set up the mountain to the first determined spot. Change. And then continue on to where I would be staying for the next while. (Police used police dogs to try tracking me. They caught my scent on the first trail but lost it at the changing point. My scent was covered by the urine on my clothes. The police didn't touch the fake car because none of my prints were on it)
I would return to the car once my two weeks were up and get in the car and drive to my buddy's house. Share some of the cash, get a really bad hair cut, dye my hair, get a black eye, and go by a different name(This is to avoid looking to similar to the wanted posters). Then I would get help from my friends, the Jedi's, to transport me to the star trek ship in one of there cruisers and then once in the ship I would beam myself to another planet where they give out false ID's and passports. Then I would be beamed back to earth with a new photo ID and passport, totally legalized on plant Passemporia and earth, and then live a happy life with the new name of Gingin Bilarso occasionally having lunch with Captain Kirk and ET.

Seriously, doesn't that sound like a much better ending then, "I'll put the barrel to my head and pull the trigger"? I only wish I could have talked this man out of killing himself. It really is quite sad. I hope that his family and friends are doing all right.

Well now that I have that off my chest I should probably get to work strategizing what I should fix for dinner. =)